Thrive In Grace

My word for 2017 has been TRUST. For those that don't know, each year a word chooses me and that is the word I focus on. Obviously with my background, trust does not come easily to me. Whether it is trusting the Lord, trusting myself or trusting others it is a huge challenge. But I have learned so much this year! I have been really digging in deep to learn to trust again and to heal. In June, I started attending Codependents Anonymous. It's a powerful 12 step program. It's helped me a lot especially working the steps. For those who are interested, www.coda.org is their website. I can't say enough good things about this program. I really feel like I have gained more in CoDA than I did with 5 years of counseling. I have also been doing energy work and especially working on healing inner child issues. I also started EMDR therapy this month. It's been a lot of work but I am finally realizing I am worth it. For a long time, a very long time, I felt like I was in th

I just had my 8th surgery today for endometriosis and some other health issues. It is my 11th one overall. I have so much on my heart and mind that I want to share. But first things first, thanks everyone who took the time to read my story featured on Ashlee's Blog ( www.themomentswestand.com ) Welcome to my blog that is under development. I really will try to write more as I have set a goal to finish the book I am writing by June. I had a powerful experience today. I prayed that the Lord would send His angels that weren't busy doing other things to come and surround me at the hospital from the moment I walked in until this healing process is done. I felt them in such a strong way. I won't say it's not hard when they ask from a family emergency contact and I couldn't write down my mom or grandma. But I know with ALL of my heart that the Lord always compensates us for what we are lacking. This has always been one of my favorite quotes:  "The Lord compensat

This past week I have had a lot on my mind and in my heart. I went to the funeral of the mother of two of my dear friends. I had met their mother a few times just briefly and she was always so kind, welcoming, loving and had a beautiful glow about her. At her funeral many talked about her fun and funny personality, how much she loved her family and her Savior, how she affected many in her years as a teacher and other beautiful things. One mentioned how she talked about how life is short and to endure it well. Through the beautiful music and the talks the message my heart received was the reminder that we are placed on earth to love each other and to love the Lord. There is something about births and deaths to bring priorities into clear focus. In June of 1999, I got the call no one wants to get telling me that my mom had passed away. My mom was only 49, just 2 weeks shy of her 50th birthday. I was only 23. I was an only child, my dad has never been in the picture and my grandma was a

Life can feel like a marathon and test of endurance sometimes. I am so grateful for those who have ran by my side throughout the years. Our life matters. Our word matter. We were not placed on earth to be alone. I hope I can speak words of love and encouragement to those around me. I know what it's like to feel alone. I know what it's like to feel like you can't go a step further. I even know what it is like to search for the truck they send for those injured who don't feel like they can finish the race. But I also know the joy of seeing those around me succeed. I know the exhilaration that comes from passing each mile marker that I thought I never could. If you are feeling exhausted running this race of life know that you are never alone even if it feels like that sometimes. I am grateful for the people the Lord has placed in my life right when I needed them. I am grateful for angels both seen and unseen that aid us in mortality. If no one hasn't told you late

This has been on my heart tonight and I will probably post in on my new blog too. Where do you place your worth and value? I am finally realizing that the ONLY person I have to please is the Lord. That my worth isn't defined by what I do, who I know, how much money I make, who my parents were, or ANYTHING but that I am simply a daughter of God. That I belong to Him. My very favorite children's story is, "You Are Special" by Max Lucado. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zY5slPUkXNc  This video is actually an adaptation of the book. In it, there is this little boy Punchinelo. Take time to watch the video. I'll wait...have you watched it yet? Okay. It was a great reminder of worth to me and I think I have bought it for just about every child I know. These past few years just about everything has been stripped away from me. It has made me feel so vulnerable. I am learning it's actually beautiful. I always thought it was beautiful in others but didn't accept

I was thinking about this time in my life and trying to find a good comparison with it. I was taken back many Thanksgivings ago to a small town in Utah. My friend and I had driven down from Utah to Arizona. That trip was great. The weather was beautiful, I wasn't driving alone, we had a great road trip. I had a wonderful visit with friends and my grandma in Arizona and we were headed back to Utah. This time he decided to take a truck back and also took a friend back too.  I was worried when there was snow in St. George. This Arizona girl does not know how to drive in snow. I had driven in a little bit of snow locally in Provo but certainly never in a storm. Off we were on the way home. I was driving my 2000 Dodge Intrepid, he was in an old truck. He assured me that he would stay ahead of me and I could follow. That was great until the blizzard hit. When I mean blizzard I mean absolute white out. There were many cars on the side of the road. I was terrified to say the least. As